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| I am seriously considering filing for divorce.
I can't take it anymore. We've been here a year, he has applied for ONE job. Online. And he didn't even bother to call them to follow up. And it was months ago.
I know he does the cleaning and the cooking, and I appreciate that. But that's not what we need. My job (which I am very thankful for) barely covers our bills. We can't even begin to think about paying back our student loans until he gets a job - much less think about buying a house.
I have cried, begged, screamed, and pleaded, to no avail. We had a horrific fight last October -- yet nothing changed. I had a meltdown on him one night while we were on vacation this summer .. yet nothing changed. He'll say what he has to say to calm me down -- then nothing. No action.
I don't need him to have some big fancy job or make more money than me - he probably never will, at this point, since he's been out of the job market so long. I just need to see that my husband loves me enough to, oh, go out and get a job and help provide for his wife and daughter. Is that so much to ask?
It's pushed me into a depression. I'm not suicidal and I would *NEVER* ever even try it - but I've had what psychiatrists would call fleeting thoughts. I'm on the verge of tears most of the time, especially at home, and it's not PMS. Meanwhile, I'm starting to apply for part-time jobs. I have no hope of him doing anything; meanwhile we need a few hundred more bucks a month, so I'm guessing soon I'll be working on the weekends.
I don't want to do this but I see absolutely no way out. He's not going to change because he doesn't love me. I don't know what I did wrong.
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| Maybe I should start blogging again.
I'm in the mood to write, but I need to throw clothes on and get to the office. I missed the past 2 days due to a really bad head cold. I'd love another day at home - I'm still kind of run down and I have the sick leave - but I'd be drowning in work, even more than I already will be today. It takes 2 days to make up for 1 day missed, doing what I do.
More later, if I can get motivated ...
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| Boy, was I wrong!!!!!!!!!!!!
| One more thing: Election 2008Going out on a limb here and offering my predictions. It'll be fun to see in a year's time if they come true:
Hillary
and Barak Obama both do not have a snowball's chance in hell of getting
the Democratic nomination. Especially Obama, he is way too young. The
Dems may just be stupid enough to nominate Hillary, after all the best
they could come up with in 2004 was John Kerry. If they do nominate
her, it will be a Walter Mondale bloodbath on election night. I'm not
confident she could carry even California -- and the south? Forget it!
The Republicans will be able to run a lemur and win. John Kerry, Al
Gore and John Edwards have already had their big chance and blew it, so
there's no way they'll even be considered. My prediction: the
Democratic nominee will be someone we haven't really heard of yet. If
they have any brain cells in their collective noggins they will go dig
up a true moderate with a VERY charming, pretty wife. Part of their
problem in 2004 was the freak show that is Tereeeeeza.
As far
as the Republicans go, there's no way Giuliani has a prayer. He's not a
Republican, he's Democrat Lite. And Mitt Romney? Umm, no. Americans
want their Presidents to at least pretend to be a Christian so I think
the Mormon thing would be a problem. (I am not saying he *shouldn't*
get it because he's a Mormon, I'm saying he *won't* get it because he's
a Mormon, there's a difference.) I respect John McCain, but he wouldn't
get my vote -- not pro-life enough. (I'm well aware that Dubya is not
pro-life, however his voting record is.) However I think McCain would
have a very good shot at winning (especially if they nominate Hillary,
he'd beat her even if the October Surprise was sheep-related). I kinda
like Fred Thompson, too, but the cancer issue may scare the Republicans
off.
Repub nominee prediction: someone else we haven't heard of.
Should be interesting ... |
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| We survived the move, everything's fine, more later.
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| Everything's falling into place. Found an apartment, got approved. Kid will be going to year-round school, which will be interesting.
We move on Friday the 29th. This is all happening so fast. I was told I had the job when I left my interview but they took a long time to make final decisions.
Oh, and the Mr's back got healed at church a couple of weeks ago. He hasn't had any pain since :)
And we're about to settle the lawsuit. Probably will be another few weeks.
And my mom's moving back home this weekend.
I'm pretty excited about moving, but also apprehensive as I've never been much of a risk taker. I was born for this job, though, so I think I'll do fine.
Finding friends, on the other hand, will be a challenge. Where do people meet people these days?
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